Entries Tagged 'Ezri speaks' ↓

e: RUN! The Pee monster IS COMING!
A: What is a pee monster?
e: He is a monster who comes and pees on your floor.
Ezri later informed me the vomit monster was coming. Yeah, I can guess what he does.

“If this cape gets dirty like with banana bread on it or chocolate on it, it’s okay because I have another cape. The other cape is blue.”

Ezri declared her favorite superhero to be Superman. At first I was disappointed, but in further conversation I discovered she really just wants to be able to fly. This helps explain her fascination with Peter Pan. Also, flying in an invisible plane is not how she wants to fly.

“Oh, come on! Seriously.” This quote is only funny if you hear her say it with the exact same infliction as her father and particularly when things are going wrong like her video having trouble loading on the computer.

I am not putting on a shirt because I am doing yoga.

Ezri and the art of the knock-knock joke:
e: Knock, knock
A: Who’s there?
e: Bear!
A: Bear who?
e: Bear STOP SIGN!

“I am going to be a bird and I am not going to poop on our windows.”
Guess what Ezri remembers cleaning off the windows of our house.

Ezri likes to pretend to be a robot. She beeps and uses a robotic voice.
She likes to tell stories about robots too. Today she told me,”Blind robot and seeing-eye dog are best friends.”

Another Ezri-style story:
“Seventy is a clock. Seventy-clock does not point at seven. He points at 8, 9, 10, 11, but not 12 and not 7 and not 13. Seventy-clock has a squirrel friend. They play games.”

e: I WANT A SNACK!
Since this was not a request nor nicely put I decide to respond with one of my own desires.
A: I want a nap.
e pauses and looks thoughtful.
e: You should get me a snack and then go nap.

Ezri did not like the available outfit options in her dresser one day. She found paper. She asked for markers.
A: What are you making?
e: A apron to wear to Amy’s wedding. Purple SPIRALS!
With nothing to wear in her closet, Ezri decides to make it work.
First she designs the fabric wearing only her underclothes.

Then she asked mom to help her fit the dress.

Then she danced until the dress tore. It was determined a dress you could not dance in would not do for future celebrations. She accepted some clothes from a newly cleaned laundry basket to wear for the day.

Rocking in her PJs

Another collection of quotable Ezri follows.

After too many “why” questions, I told Ezri we were happy to answer her questions.
But, no more questions that started with “why.” Ask some questions that start with “what” or “how,” please.
Her next question.
“Why no why questions?”

We have a friend who makes a “wah-wah” noise when, for example, a hole is missed in mini-golf. Ezri has started using “wah-wah” at exactly the right moments. I drop my cookie on the floor and hear a small “wah-wah.”

This is an Eric quote heard during the bedtime routine and spoken to Ezri, “No, we already did the cow. You missed it because you were too busy doing one eye.” Funny part is I know exactly what he is talking about.

“A panda will eat my magic wand.” Ezri was using a piece of bamboo for her magic wand.

“C3PO can have daddy’s chair while he’s gone.” Yes, Eric, you’ve been replaced by a beanie baby droid replica.

Practicing her beat boxing

Another collection of quotes and conversations with the three-year-old.

“It is naked party time!”
If your mind conjured a picture of a dancing, naked Ezri – that’s about right.

Playing with Cinderella flannel board:
Ezri: Why is the stepmama mean?
Me: I don’t know maybe she is jealous. Sometimes people do mean things.
Ezri: Maybe she needs more sleep.

In this same Cinderella play session I got the comment, “Mama, you are like the fairy mama. The fairy mama reads stories and kisses goodnight.” Guess we know what evil stepmothers do NOT do.

While discussing her medicine, “No not FLAVOR, how it tastes.”

Ezri: I want up!
Me: I want a clean house.
Ezri: UP! I want up!
Me: I want a good night’s sleep.
Ezri: Don’t say that. Up!
Me: Ezri, just ask nicely.
Ezri: Please, don’t say that.
And then I picked her up.

“Do monkeys have eyebrows?”

At her three-year well check, the doctor had a picture of a stick person with one eye and one leg. The directions were to ask your child what it was. A response of man, child, person, girl, snowman or the like would earn the child credit for passing some developmental milestone of stick person identification. I asked Ezri what the picture was and she said, “It’s a pirate. He has one eye.” We gave her credit and made the doctor laugh.

“What cheered him down?”
Ezri is a champion at making her little brother smile. She is an expert at cheering him up. After he bumped his head and wailed she asked, “What cheered him down?”

Here’s another collection of quotes and comments from our girl.

“When I am the mama we will eat ALOT of chocolate after dinner.”

In a related comment:
Me: That was the last skittle. We’re done with candy.
Ezri: But I am still candyish.
(“Candyish” clearly means I am hungry but only for candy)

I realize I am so not ready for my little girl to navigate the world of playground politics as I overhear this exchange:
Bigger Girl Met At Playground: Why are you following me?
Ezri: Because I want to play with you. I’m Ezri.
BGMAP: No, you’re too little.
Ezri: But I am very nice.
The bigger girl then ran away.
Though later the two were bouncing together and playing.

While in an automatic carwash which I described as a shower for the car, Ezri said, “I helped daddy take the car to the dentist for cars.” I said okay, but was perplexed.
Later, Eric told me he described emission testing as getting the car a check-up like at the dentist.

Ezri: Where’s mom?
Eric: Mom just went to work.
Ezri: I miss mom.
Eric: I miss her too.
Ezri: Let’s go find a new mom.

Ring around the Ezri

Talking to herself

So many clones

Those photos are from our trip to the DuPage Children’s Museum last week.

Here is another collection of conversational wonders with Ezri.

Me: Who do you want to invite to your birthday party?
Ezri: Everybody! Even myself and Ivan. And grandma and grandpa I think.

Ezri: I am the big sister.
Me: Yes, you are.
Ezri: And the I am the ohdest.
Me: The oldest? Well, you are the oldest kid.
Ezri: No, no the ohdest.
Me: The oldest?
Ezri: No, the ohdest.
Me: The oddest?
Ezri: No, no the ohdest.
Me: The ohdest.
Ezri: No, mama, the ohdest.
Me: I am not understanding.
Ezri: I am not talking to you.
Me: I would like to still talk to you.
Ezri: I am very busy with my stickers. I will talk to you later, mama.
Me: Okay, let me know when you have time to talk to me.
(Eric figured out that Ezri was trying to say she was “the artist” because she was coloring and creating with stickers. She is the artist in the family.)

In a related statement:
“Hi, my name is Ezri and my cool trick is mixing colors.”

After a three day trip, upon my homecoming. . .
Me: EZRI! I need a hug. I missed you SO MUCH.
Ezri (inside my hug): You smell like baby spit-up.
Me: Yeah, that’s possible.

“Everybody in my family farts because everybody farts.”

“Fancy teeth.” This is how Ezri describes teeth with braces.

“The reindeer can’t see.” This said after eating the eyes of her chocolate reindeer pop.

“Hanukkah is when you light candles and you don’t blow them out. And there’s GELT!!!” This said when asked what Hanukkah is.

“My kiss weared off.” Ezri has taken to calling her parents back on specious claims to extend her bedtime routine. Cute and annoying simultaneously.

“Snore loud so I can see the Z’s.”

“I want all of these minutes.” This said holding up all her fingers to declare she wanted a long time before going to bed.

“Where am I going this day?” Means what it says. I just like the phrasing. She has recently learned that days of the week have names, but she has to ask for the name of any given day.

“I need this many socks.” (holding up five fingers) “I growed an extra foot.”

Here’s another collection of Ezri’s speech.

“I am the company expert and the stirring expert in the family.” Ezri speaks on her ability to keep the cook company in the kitchen and help stir during meal preparations.

“You use the big potty. Mama, you have a big bum. I have a little bum.”

While we were playing with a black cat doll I crocheted and gave to Eric years ago I said, “I could make you a crocheted animal.”
Ezri shook her head and said, “I just want to be a Ezri.”
pause
“Oh, no, I just meant I could make a crocheted animal FOR you.”

Ezri: I am going to ride a unicycle!
Me: Really?
Ezri: You are the unicycle.
Me: I see.
Luckily, the unicycle was available to give Ezri a ride.

Me: Remember, Ezri, your dad has a hurt foot so don’t step on his foot and hurt him.
Ezri: I am not going to hurt your foot, daddy. I am going to hurt your knee.

Before dinner Ezri said, “I would like a orange for appletizer.” pause “I would like a orangetizer, please.”

Three little girls watch a passing train.

Here are some more Ezri quotes I’ve collected.

“I am a flying dog and I poop.”

“Put that baby down! I want you, mama.” Sometimes being the big sister is rough.

I asked Ezri what she had for dinner and she said,
“Turtlelini”
She recognized this was a pun and preceded to laugh her head off. “Turtle-turtle-turtle-lini.”

Ezri is big into rhyming lately. She likes to say a rhyming word for what she is talking about. Example:
Ezri says, “I want to read a blook.” I will ask, “Do you want to read a book?” She will reply, “No, a blook I want to read a blook.” I will ask, “What’s a blook?” She will laugh. Again she finds this hilarious – just like turtle-lini. I find it cute or if it goes on long enough irritating as all get out. Though as a trained literacy professional, I recognize that rhyming is all part of developing phonological awareness – one of the most important pre-reading skills. Still, Ezri, there’s no such thing as a blook.

While waiting for our meal to come Ezri pointed at a picture of an ice cream sundae and said, “I want one of these for dessert.” Eric told her we would be having dessert at home and dessert would be after bathtime. Ezri asked the next logical question, “Does this restaurant have a bathtub?”

“You can’t wear your shoe while my doll naps there.” One of the dollhouse dolls has decided to sleep in my shoe. I wonder how long it will be off limits.

Today was the first day Ezri asked for her mittens that I thought she had the right idea. It’s getting chilly out there.

Another collection of Ezri’s comments:

“Many things are up high. So, may I please stand on chairs?”

Ezri’s comment on the slightly smaller bananas in the produce section:
“These are just my size.”
Yes, we purchased a bunch of them.

Playground Justice Vigilante Style
Ezri: That boy hitted me.
Me: He hit you? That was not nice.
Ezri: It’s okay. I spitted on him.
Me: We do not spit on people. Was this before or after he hit you?
Ezri: After. After hit, I spitted on him.
(An obligatory discussion of never spitting on people and the necessity of involving the law – err, adults – to settle such disputes followed.)

“Mama, do you have enough hands?”
This said after asking for a snack. I may be using the phrase, “I don’t have enough hands,” too often since Ivan was born.

“Is it now yet?”
This after hearing from her parents, “Not now. You need to be patient.” one too many times.