Entries Tagged 'Ezri speaks' ↓

“I am a Play dough Pirate! ARRRR!”

Here are some other assorted conversations with Ezri.

Ezri (to me with a heavy sigh): ‘When you are cranky like this, I just don’t know what to do with you.”
Children are like verbal mirrors. This was after I raised my voice to get her to put on her underwear after using the potty – oh, the crankiness.

“Daddy is a good cook, he can cook at McDonald’s. Amanda, you can cook at a restaurant where only stuffed animals eat.”

Ezri speaks the truth about me when we are playing superheroes and she tells me,
“You are not a bad guy. You are Wonder Woman!”

“You expect NOTHING!”
I have a habit of saying, “You suspect nothing,” when I am sneaking up on someone to tickle them. Ezri pointing at me and saying, “You expect NOTHING!” before she planned to sneak up and tickle me was hilarious.

Ezri explained to me that a pirate has a dog named Scurvy. This because of hearing the phrase, “ARRRR! Ye scurvy dogs!” If we ever get a dog at my house, we may just name him Scurvy.

She has decided it is the most funny joke ever to say, “Yo ho ho and a bottle of PEE,” in her pirate voice. This because a friend took the liquor out of the phrase by saying, “Yo ho ho and a bottle of pop.” And because nothing is funny like urine to a three-year-old. Okay, it’s possible that poops and farts are even funnier.

Did you know our hotel room came with a secret hideout?
Well, it did,
i

Quotes and conversations with Ezri:

“This is my foot. It is super foot. Like a bird but without wings. It does this on bad guys.” (stomping motion there at the end)

“Can tape worms have tape worms?”

Ezri’s words for the personal light and fan on the airplane.
“My little light,” and “my little breeze” respectively.

Ezri wearing a crocodile nose and a superhero cape, “I am a vampire. I am going to steal your gums!”
Me: Is that what vampires do?
Ezri: Yes, they steal your gums.
Me: What are gums?
Ezri pointing: This part above your teeth.
Me: How do they steal them?
Ezri: They have very sharp knives.
Me: What do they do with them?
Ezri: Turn them into tooth fairy dust!
Ezri may be under educated on the topic of vampires.

“I have mad skills because I am a mad scientist.”

After thoroughly examining me with her play doctor’s kit.
Me: How am I doing?
Dr. Ezri: Well, you’re not going to die. So that’s good.

A couple scenes from the Splash Park:

Talking with Ezri:

“I want you to have another kid. I want you to have surgery and I will bring you buckety.”
Ezri was not really selling this concept by pointing out I would need a c-section and the bucket I carried with me during morning sickness (all 8 months of it).

Ezri talking to her friend K next to the sandpit.
K: You are my bestfriend.
e:I am your bestfriend? (tone of wonder and excitement)
K: Yes, we have lots of playdates. (matter-of-fact tone)
me (mom): Ezri, you need to put your shoes on if you’re done playing in the sand.
e: I need help.
K: I will help you that’s what friends are for.
(K and I each starting putting on one of Ezri’s shoes.)
e: It is good that I have two feet so my bestfriend and my mama can both help.

Singing in the back of the car – clearly making up her own lyrics to an upbeat tune:
“Everybody dies, but that’s okay. The dogs all die, but that’s okay. The pets all die, but that’s okay.” I guess she’s made her peace with mortality.

While squishing her playdough, “This is good for my thritis.” Her Grandma Liz made playdough with us and declared needed the warm dough to be good for her arthritis.

e: Is Lori coming today?
E: I don’t think Lori is coming today.
e: But I have a fish belly. It would blow her mind.

Singing while looking at stickers gifted to her by Charlotte:
I love you Charlotte.
yeah-yeah-yeah
I hope your mother likes you
yeah-yeah-yeah
I like my stickers
(I think this comes from an earlier discussion in which I talked about how I always love Ezri, but I do not always like her behavior.)

I explain to her, “If you can’t listen and go when asked you don’t get to walk yourself to the car. That’s the deal.”
Ezri declares, “That is NOT the deal. I take the deal and throw it in the garbage forever!”

“We ate macaroni and Todd Pie.”
She means Pad Thai.

Glasses with attached mustache = classy

Here’s some Ezri quotes.

“I’m the center of contention.”

“I have a rumbly in my bumbly.” followed by fart noises.

Ezri is trying to work out what is funny. She is testing a theory that saying things obviously false to both parties is amusing.
“Eagles can’t fly.” Ezri laughs and then pauses, “Is that funny?”
“Don’t stop at stop signs.” Ezri laughs and then pauses, “Is that funny?”
Humor is tricky.

Ezri does know there’s such a thing as a bad joke.
She told me that “The Joker is a bad guy who tells bad jokes.” I’ve also learned he would probably take your snack instead of sharing his snack with you. That Joker is pretty evil.

Ezri is struggling with understanding that words have multiple meanings and that we speak in idioms.
I said “the proof is in the pudding.” And Ezri asked about pudding having a roof and then how do you eat it with its roof on.
I took off my glasses and said that “things were fuzzy.” Ezri was super puzzled as fuzzy means only like a furry teddy bear to her. She asked how that worked and if she could do it. Eric and I explained about the other meaning of “fuzzy.” The next day she took of her sunglasses and said, “Now everything is fluffy.” It took me a minute to figure out what she was referencing.

In the above photo, Ezri has put on a hoodie that was hanging up on a hook in her room.

Some quotes and conversations with Ezri.

me: What was your favorite part of Spanish class?
Ezri: The game with the circles.
me: How do you play that?
Ezri: You put a mano(Spanish for hand) in a color and then a pie (Spanish for foot) and then twist.
Ahhh. . . I think Ezri just played her first game of Twister. I’ve never played in Spanish. Though I have to wonder how it went since I know Ezri does not know her derecha from her izquierda in any language.

Ezri told me about the hotel room we stayed in.
Ezri: This hotel room is really weird.
It was not. Except that Ezri has not stayed in many hotel rooms, so it was weird for her.
Ezri: It is just like sleeping outside.
Wrong again – even though she explained that the speckled ceiling was like stars and the smoke detector was the moon.

Ezri: I had a bad dream.
Me: What did you dream about?
Ezri: Giant mosquitoes. They were playing ring-around-the-rosie.
I had to agree that giant mosquitoes are definitely nightmarish.

“I am Superman! When I grow up I’ll be Batman when I’m a mom.”

Ezri informed me that “Ivan is a robot.”
Given how she feels about robots this can only be a positive development.

Ezri’s first joke,
“What do crows say in the morning?
CAW-fee CAW-fee CAW-fee”
She likes to make you say “CAW” and then she will say “fee” or vice-versa.

me: What was your favorite part of Spanish class today?
ezri: When Mr. Alfonso smelled my pies (pronounced pee-ehs which is Spanish for feet).
I really like her Spanish teacher’s style.

Another collection of comments from Ezri.

“I have a Hot Flash. This is Hot Flash.” While playing with her Kid Flash action figure. I think there’s a reason that Marvel named him simply “The Flash.”

“I ate a rainbow of cream cheese Daleks.”
Your guess is as good as mine.

If you read the blog consistently you may have noticed that there is a current robot obsession.
Ezri got a new wind-up robot.
She asked her robot’s name. I read the name written on his chest, “Destroyer.”
I think Ezri heard “The Stroyer.”
Because she calls him “Stroyer” and he and my robot Hyjax are best friends. Stroyer and Hyjax have a pet Hex Bug they take for walks. They like to robot race and robot dance.

Looking at a pack of two new sippy cups that are designed for those transitioning to cups for the first time:
ezri: I can use the blue one and Ivan can have the other one.
me: No, those are both for Ivan to use. Maybe he will share, but they are both for Ivan to use.
ezri(after a pause to think): What about when Ivan dies?
(It could have been menacing but was asked in an innocent tone of genuine questioning. Guess, we’ll make sure Ivan wills Ezri his sippy cups.)

Ezri has been making me proud at how well she has done at her first two solo classes. Last week she went to a dance class at the park district. I peeked in through the window to see how she was doing. She was listening to the teacher and following directions with a big smile on her face. While not the shortest in class, I think she was the youngest. Only once during the class did I hear from the hallway a loud thump followed by Ezri’s voice saying, “I’m okay!” She may not yet be a graceful dancer. Each time I peeked in she was dancing or waiting her turn and looking really thrilled to be there. This week she went to her first solo Spanish class which was an hour and twenty minutes long (epic for someone with her attention span) and did a great job. Mr. Alfonso was impressed with her participation. She is feeling like a girl who is ready for preschool to me.
Today however she has been a bit of pill.
Case in point – this conversation:
me: Ezri, what would you like to drink with lunch?
e: Chicken Poop! *maniacal giggling*
me: Ezri no poop talk at the table. What would you like to drink?
e: chicken poop! Chicken Poop! CHICKEN POOP!
me: Ezri, enough. We do not have chicken poop.
e: We could make it with chicken and with poop.
Sometimes I am proud, other times she is so THREE I want to scream.

Photos are from working on planting earlier in May. I love the hat she’s chosen to wear.

A collection of conversation and quotes from Ezri.

“I am a big girl. You are a woman.” As she leaves the room ahead of me, “C’mon, woman!”

“I am a hooker. See, I have hooks for hands.” She likes the idea of Captain Hook and I am certain he would be even better with two hook hands. But, we really need her to rename this supervillain persona she’s developing.

Ezri is having trouble settling at bedtime. She makes up reasons she needs Eric to come back to see her. An example :
e (calling from her bed): Eric I NEED you.
E (exasperated): What do you need, Ezri?
e (pauses to think): My thumb is wet.
E: Did you put in your mouth?
e: Yes, dry it for me. I need you.
A few nights ago after we thought she was actually settled. We heard this over the baby monitor from the basement.
“Eric. . . ERIC!. . .Eric Benjamin! I need you. . . . . RIGHT NOW.” We laughed for a good long time before responding. I am afraid Ezri will have to learn the hard way that invoking the use of the middle name to command attention is a pattern of speech whose power is for the parents to use, not the offspring.

Ezri is enjoying singing the My Little Pony theme song. She can only sing three words – “My Little Pony” but she will keep at it repeating them for a good long time. Notably, she has only watched two episodes of the show EVER and it has a powerful place in her consciousness. The second episode we watched I tried to skip the theme song, but she called me on that and asked for the song.

We’ve stopped getting so many “Why?” questions, but now get gems like this,
“Do Wampas eat ponies?”

Here we are playing with the remote control robot I got for my birthday. His name is Hyjax. Ezri declares him to be “a good friend robot.” He’s great for her working on fine motor control and problem solving. Ivan likes to track him with his eyes. He does a cool robot spinny dance that I like to mimic. The cats – well, they have their own ideas about what a mini robot might be good for.

Here’s another collection of quotes by and spoken to Ezri.

“It looks like moose antlers.”
That was a toilet training comment. I am noticing many of this collection of quotes relate to the potty. You can tell what skills we are working on around here.

“Stop saying THAT! Stop saying that, mama. Say normal things that don’t make me cry.”
Ezri on my telling her repeatedly that it was her poor behavior had cut our expedition short.

Eric to Ezri when she was pulling at her pants, “Do you need to use the potty? Oh, no, you just still have a ladybug in your pants.” Ladybug in question was a plastic finger puppet.

Another parenting quote, this time from me. “Okay, Super Rainbow Flower Girl, you need to take your cape off to use the potty.” She had on rainbow striped pants, a floral shirt and a cape and had given herself the name “Super Rainbow Flower Girl.”

“I want to go to the red spiral place with the dot inside.” It took me awhile to figure out that she wanted to go browse Target. She knows the logo, but doesn’t remember the store’s name.

“Don’t sing that song or the giant shrimp monster will EAT YOU!”
The song was Raffi’s bananaphone. We were using a fake banana as a phone. I thought it was a good time. Ezri (with her imaginary shrimp monster backing her) did not.

me: Ezri how many days a week do you want to go to preschool next fall?
Ezri: Seven!
me: How many days are in a week?
Ezri: Five I think.
Later conversation showed that she had been told that there were FIVE week days and did the reverse logic on that. Eric and I will make our decision about whether 2 or 4 preschool days is best without helpful input from Ezri.

me: I am going to drive through Taco Bell. Do you want something to eat?
Ezri: Do they have tacos?
me: Yes. Do you want a taco?
Ezri: No. Do they have bells?
me: Why would they have. . . oh.
She very much enjoyed the chicken soft taco without lettuce that she did not want. Ezri was disappointed they only have a picture of a bell in their logo, not bells on the menu.

“He is a she because he is a girl dog. She is another word for girl. He needs a leash for going on a walk.”
She’s still working on her concept of pronouns.

Duck feeding has returned at Cosley Zoo.

Ezri likes throwing food to the ducks.

The ducks seem pretty pleased too.