Entries Tagged 'Ezri speaks' ↓

“My art is not a joke.” While her brother was laughing at her letter sculptures.

“When I am a grown up I want to be a artist and a mama.”

“The clouds are making a zero. It is very nice of them to make one of our favorite numbers.”

“Who will live in our house when we are dead?” Parents do not always have the answers.

“Are there mailboxes in New Zealand?”

Ezri is developing a sense of humor. Ezri’s jokes currently sound like these.
“Why did the chicken climb the hill? POO!”
“What did the mouse do when he was angry? POO!”
“What did dinosaur do after dinner? PEE POO!”
I’ve told her I don’t find them funny and she doesn’t need to tell me pee or poo jokes anymore. She tells them to Ivan. He finds them hilarious. She tells jokes to him in the backseat of the car and when they are together under the table. We know Ivan knows what poo means since he points at his diaper and says “boo” sometimes which means, “I have pooped in this, change me.” So, she has the scatological and the element of the unexpected in her humor though she quickly loses that because the answer is always pee or poo.

Here are a couple photos of Ezri and her friends who are off to spend over a year in New Zealand later this month. We’re gonna miss these girls. Ezri and C are making their heads into a balloon and a toy picnic basket respectively in the one photo.

Another collection of quotes from Ezri:

“You parents are waitresses. You bring us our food every night.”
By this sort of logic, we are also chefs, valets, chauffeurs, teachers, and personal shoppers. Parents are a lot of things.

“I can set the table like a grand master.”
She is increasingly helpful in getting ready for meals, but realistically more of a yellow belt.

“Kitty is witty. Witty kitty. I am making poetry.”

“Manchi is the goodest cat. . .and Ellie and Sushi too.” I love that we still get grammatical errors by overusing the rule. Also, she may not yet understand superlatives.

“It’s no problem.” Ezri has started using this phrase when asked to do things like pick up or get something for her brother. It is accompanied by a little hand wave that makes it truly adorable. Also, it is said brightly when she is in a helpful mood and that makes it attractive.

Ezri and her friend, Sean, disappeared into a mini corn maze and repeatedly ran through emerging on the other side. Until that one time they did not emerge. Sean’s father and I finally went in each from one end to look for the kids. When I caught up to her this was the explanation.
Me: Why didn’t you come out?
Ezri: I was a power ranger.

“I am making a pink disaster.” Said while using her bath paints to wildly pink the wall. Pink Disaster would make a good band name in future.

“No grown-ups and no dinosaurs and no bad guys allowed in Kidland.” She declared her room to be Kidland.

Quotes and conversations with Ezri:

e: Can you peel your eye?
A: Keeping your eyes peeled means keeping them open like this.
e: You should always keep your eyes peeled. . . except at bedtime.

In talking about the plot of the book Extra Yarn which has an evil Archduke, Ezri repeatedly referred to the Archduke as Count Dooku.

These quotes from a happy playing together moment for Ezri and her little brother,
“I tried to pull the monster’s head off, but he wouldn’t let me. It’s just stuck on.
It’s a baby monster. The baby monster is Ivan. Ahhhhhhhh!”

Ezri filled a large box with blankets and stuffed animals then declared it to be her “snuggery because it is snug. I love my snuggery.”
This prompted Eric to say, “Get thee to a snuggery!”

“I always use my vagina when I pee.”

“Bad pictures in my eyes,” is the way Ezri describes nightmares and when they happen she wants Eric. He is her go-to for comfort after the bad pictures have been in her eyes.

We do a lot of talking about whether we want company or privacy when we go to the bathroom, but even I found this question a little forward,
“Do you want a hug while you are pooping?”

Things Ezri prompted her parents to say:

“Making a Foofa sandwich is not the same as putting your shoes on,” explained Eric.
“Do not put your bunny snack in the galaxy putty. The galaxy putty is not that bunny’s ocean,” explained Amanda.
“Do not play footsie with your brother at the dinner table.” This has happened often enough that both parents have uttered it.

Photos of happy hour at The Snuggery follow:

“I want this mustache to be a masterpiece.”

“See, Ivan, easy as peasy.” Showing her brother how to craft.

Meghan: What’s the hardest part of being a big sister.
Ezri: The special smell.

Ezri: BEE-BO PINATA! BEE-BO PINATA!
Amanda: What is a bee-bo pinata?
Ezri: It’s a pinata shaped like a bee-bo.

Rodeo bookstore is a game where Ezri lays out books from our collection and offers them for sale while she plays her harmonica.
She also “speaks rodeo” which involves speaking through her harmonica. It’s a trick to understand.
Eric made up a song we sing when we play rodeo bookstore, “Going to the rodeo bookstore and we’re gonna have a good time.”
I am usually the customer. Though lately Ivan has learned to play. You ask the bookstore lady (Ezri) if she has a book on a topic and she gets it for you and sells it to you for pretend money. Ivan walked up and said “Baby” and Ezri happily sold him a Peekaboo book with a baby on the cover.

“The pink ninja goes like this” (lots of spinning and jumping and thumping).
“I will teach to be PINK NINJA!”

Ezri: I’m the Las Vegas call girl!
Me: You’re the Las Vegas call girl?
Ezri: No, no, no Las Vegas cow girl. Like in the lights.
Me: The Las Vegas cowgirl?
Ezri: Yes, I ride cows and have that circle rope thing.
I think we are referencing this: Neon Cowgirl Sign
Though the neon Vegas cowgirl does not have a lasso. She is also not riding a cow.

This picture is Ivan and Ezri in the story box they made. It has stars drawn on the inside and buildings and a girl with rainbow pigtails.

Ezri with her gingerbread house team!

I love this series of photos in which Ezri goes from posing for a photo to realizing there is a frosting covered cookie in front of her. The tongue comes out.

After decorating gingerbread houses:
e: When do we get to eat it?
A: We don’t eat it. We are going to use it to decorate for Christmas.
with a very puzzled expression
e: It is candy.

“I can peel an orange all by myself. I never went to orange school. I learned it by eating.”

“When I grow up I want to be a magician or a mama or a grandma. . . or a clown.”

Pointing at one of those inflatable Santas on the drive back from Spanish class Ezri says, “Santa is rojo-ho-ho!”

“Do mermaids use potties or just pee in the water like fish?”

e: I want a SMOOTHY!
A: We are not getting smoothies today.
e: You are a bad mama. I am going to put you in your room.
A: You do not get to put me in time-out for not getting you a smoothy. It does not work that way.
e: IT DOES WORK THAT WAY.
A: No, it doesn’t.
e: YES, IT DOES.
A: No, it really doesn’t
e: YES! IT! DOES!
It may have gone on longer, but I’ll end it there.

This came towards me chanting the Imperial March from Star Wars. She’s a stormtrooper.

This is a conversation we had in the car passing a pool hall in the same franchise that wouldn’t let Ezri in because she wasn’t 21 when she was being carried in a baby bassinet at a few months old. It was the first, and so far only time, Ezri has been carded.
Eric: It’s a pool hall, so you can go there to play pool. Well, you can’t because they serve alcoholic drinks.
Ezri: Alcoholic drinks?
Eric: Drinks for adults only. You have to be 21 to drink them.
Ezri: Oh, well, maybe when I’m a teenager.

Ezri has decided our family is a family of jokers. Or maybe it’s “Jokers” since she means specifically the villain from Batman. She is named Jokelina – part Joker and part Angelina the Ballerina. Eric is Joker. Amanda is Jokara. Ivan is our little baby Joke-ha. I referred to our house as “Blau House” in conversation and she told me that now it is Joker House.

Amanda: Brrrr. The car is cold this morning.
Ezri: Maybe you can knit the car a sweater. Yes, knit the car a sweater!

“What is the fancy word for boogers?”
We had just been talking about other “fancy” words for bodily fluids – saliva (fancy for spit), mucus (fancy for snot) and urine (fancy for pee). Guess I still need to teach her feces. If anyone knows a fancy word for boogers let me know. We’ve decided on “dried mucus” for now.

“Trick or CHEESE!” This is Ezri’s new way of asking for cheese after Halloween.

Ezri helped reorganize the linen closet.
“I found a bunk bed. Ivan can sleep underneath my little shelf.”

Ezri likes to make up stories and ask “what if”:
“What if someone was driving away in our black car? And what if he was dressed like Darth Vader? And what if I was wearing my C3PO suit? What if Eric was Luke Skywalker and had a light saber? Then what would happen?”

Coming to my bed to wake me up in the morning, Ezri, with her hand on her neck, says, “I am checking to see if my heart is beating. I check every morning. Just to make sure.”

“Glib” means “no” in friendly alien language. I don’t know how friendly aliens say “yes.” Tells you a lot about the afternoon, doesn’t it? Ezri babbled in a made up language she called “alien” – but the language of friendly aliens not bad aliens. Sometimes she would translate for me and sometimes she wouldn’t.

In her c3po outfit Ezri would walk up to everyone she met and say, “Human cyborg relations.” Very few people could figure out what she was saying. Her preschool teacher asked me about it at her parent-teacher conference. Usually, she understands Ezri very well, but she couldn’t figure out what she was saying in her Halloween costume. She admitted a lack of Star Wars knowledge.

me: What do you think Grandpa Mark would like for his birthday?
Ezri: A My Little Pony! Cheerilee maybe?

After the re-election of president Obama while listening to NPR:
“Meghan helped OUR president again.”
I am not sure why the special emphasis on OUR but she repeated it several times. She is sure that Obama is all Americans’ president and that he belongs to her.
Meghan is a friend who volunteered for Obama’s campaigns.

Ezri would love to share a sprinkle donut.

She will eat the top half with the chocolate and the sprinkles. You get the entire bottom half with no sprinkles.

Ezri talking about one of Ivan’s noise making toys:
“Turn it off. It is destroying me.”
Ezri is confused and uses the word destroy instead of disturb it’s cute.
“Amanda, Ivan is destroying me. Make him stop!”
“Stop saying that. You’re destroying me.”

“This is the rule of underwear party. If you’re not wearing underwear, you can’t come to the party.”

Thanks to Pinky Dinky Doo, a cartoon program, Ezri will now sometimes use the phrase “Yeserooni positooni!” to answer questions in the affirmative.
Me: Do you want to go to the park?
Ezri:Yeserooni Positooni!

Ezri falls into a classic little kid mistake when telling me about her preschool teachers.
Ezri: Mrs. Hall and Mrs.Paul have last names that rhyme AND they have the same first name.
me: Really?
Ezri: Yes, Mrs. and Mrs.! Paul and Hall!
(explanation of titles followed)

Ezri: Breaking the rules is FUN! (said while jumping off the couch)
Me: No, breaking the rules is time out.

Oh, for the love of the iPad (a collection of quotes)
Me: It’s time to put away the iPad. Do you want to play a game? Do you want to paint?
Ezri: I WANT iPad. I WANT iPad.
Me: Does asking like that ever get you what you’d like?
Ezri: May I please have the iPad?
Me: Nice asking, but it isn’t time for the iPad. Do you want to do a puzzle or paint?
Ezri: I want to paint a picture of the iPad. I want to paint a picture of watching Spider-man on the iPad.
Me: sigh.
We ended up painting a picture of Grover for her little brother.

“Grandma, grandma, let me show you MY iPad.” (You mean the i Pad Eric bought Amanda for her birthday, don’t you Ezri?)

“My Little iPad. .. ” sung to the tune of the My Little Pony themesong (Again, whose iPad are we talking about here?)

“Tomorrow I am the Star of the Day. That means I get to ring the bell when it’s clean-up time.” This is just an accurate description of what goes on at preschool, but I enjoy how excited Ezri is about “Star of the Day” status.

“Mama, I have new eyes!” Creepy use of stickers.

Just a couple Ezri lines of the last little while:

“Mermaids use underwater potties.”

a mom after preschool class: “Who is your favorite princess?” (asked by mom of child with a Disney princess backpack)
Ezri: “Princess Leia” (My kid likes the princess who is also a freedom fighter. Though it may be because Leia has robots that she is admired.)

“This is called putting my bum in your face.”
She was not wrong and yet she was in the wrong.

“I am Sunflower the robot. Ivan is Basil the robot. You are Dandelion the robot. We are good. Eric is a Dalek.”

“Clean as a whistle. Dirty as a flute.” Not sure where this one came from but it was only made cuter by her inability to distinctly pronounce the word “flute.”

Ezri – There’s bird poop right there.
Me: Yes, it looks like a bird pooped on our windshield.
Ezri: Well, the birds could all wear diapers. Then no poop on the car, no poop on the windshield.
I explained that it would be hard to diaper all birds.
Ezri: Well, we could make a bird potty. I know how to use the potty. I will teach them.
Ezri is gonna potty train all birds everywhere. I love the problem solving here.

Words that are adorable when spoken by Ezri
warthog
squirrel
whirlpool
The vowel and “R” combination is a tricky sound and she doesn’t quite have it yet.

Me: That is the Snake River.
Ezri: Does it have snakes in it?
Me: No, it’s named for it’s shape. It is shaped like a snake.
Ezri: Does it have crocodiles in it?
Me: No, no crocodiles.
Ezri: Does it have sharks in it?
Me: Nope, no sharks either.
I guess that the Snake River is not as exciting as the name might’ve have indicated to Ezri.

There is a lot of superhero play around here.

Ezri: I am Batgirl.
Eric: Who am I?
Ezri: You are Batman. You are my assistant.

“DALEK! I am going to fight you with my sword, but first I am going to put on my underwear and clothes.”
Dr. Who is obviously a superhero. Ivan was a mini-Dalek who according to Ezri turned good and said, “Exterminate we are the good Daleks.”

Yesterday, Eric made us a secret lair in the backyard out of pruned limbs from our aggressive shrubbery. Unfortunately, Ezri told us that we gave GPS’s to the bad guys with our secret lair’s location, so they found us. We are considering relabeling our home address “secret lair” in our GPS.

Playing with a friend in her room. I hear Ezri say with conviction, “We are naked spies.” Ezri then emerged wearing only underwear. Her friend had on only over-sized sunglasses. We tried to think of places they could infiltrate: Nudist colony, Onsen (Japanese baths), Life drawing class, really wild night of Mardi Gras – really no end to work for the naked spies. I think it has possibilities as a future HBO show.

Batman, Batgirl and Spider-man hanging in the secret lair: